More thoughts

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Still wondering if she deliberately mislead me out of fear of losing my companionship.
And to give her number to him, that is pure DISRESPECT. Total disregard for my feelings. She treated her ex better than that. Her eyes were totally self-centered.... Dark thoughts. Darker feelings.
It's lovely having met Dutchess, she is going through the same things....
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Thoughts and deeds

Short jog today around ghetto neighborhood. They're opening a grocery store on the corner. Lost 15 pounds!!
Decided to be accountable to Mark, 24/7 for my inner life.
Two days ago all hope for her died. Bereft and yet looking forward to meeting new women. Stopped crying. Wondering if she led me on deliberately so as not to lose my daily companionship- or am I blame-shifting?
Trying to voice chat with Rhyannon who wants to visit me, perhaps.
Met Dutchess today via Twitter and she plays poker semi-professionally and loves the NFL!!!
Dark days and bright moments....
It all will work out.
This is my year.

Things are looking up

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It hasn't escaped my notice that many of these blogposts are rather dark and negative. Not too attractive, it seems to me now.
Well, things are looking up.

I have concluded that I am in my season of love after several years of being the lonely man. Now I am the lucky man and things are looking up not only in the romance department. I have completed a year of dealing at the Imperial Princess and may get promoted to full time soon. I am already working full time hours and with this I will be able to have cheap health insurance benefits and be eligible to get pulled a day or two to the Big House where tokes are higher.

And it looks like I may be able to triple my income in the next 6 months. That is, if I can figure out why so many casinos are not giving me interviews like they are to my co-workers. I'm worried that my 26 year old offense is blocking me or the sod who stole my identity with his arrest warrants tagged to my name. That would suck if Bellagio wouldn't hire me cuz of that crap.

I started jogging and using the elliptical in the gym. I hope to run the Las Vegas Marathon in December. It would be so cool if I could reduce my pot belly in half. I already lost at least 7 pounds! Took my belt in two notches and am at the last one and my pants are already loose on me. That is welcome news, indeed.

Now, if I can just find my gracious lover....
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Changes In His Life

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Some of Vegas Baby's dreams die and others survive.

The woman he loved decided she wanted to go back to her ex when she found out how grave her cancer threat was. However, she was rebuffed by him and she came back to Vegas Baby apologizing for hurting him three days after he broke off contact, telling her he didn't do love triangles. But, nonetheless, she still wanted to reconcile with the old flame.

So Vegas Baby took the hint, and decided to move on with his life, although the gravity of her health demanded he support her through her sojourn through the valley of the shadow of death until she came clear of it and walked in the light of day again.

He was troubled, for he loved her so and felt so bereft, and he wrestled with his soul for days until he realized that his only option was indeed to go on with his life as she urged him to do and seek to make his life as good as he can and find a woman to love who was ready for him. She was even openly encouraging him to seduce another woman and all so, obviously, she was over him.

So he found the wherewithal to go on when a man advised him to thank her for bringing an end to the lover relationship and agree with her that it would be a good idea for them to go their separate romantic ways. It all became so clear to him.


He had beautiful Rhyannon in Second Life who was full of wise advice and clarified for him the truth behind the dynamics between him and her and her ex. They had a 4 year history together and she loved the guy and he only had 5 months of a torrid (at least for him) romance with her. There really was no comparison.

Sure, she had mentioned love and marriage and babies at one time- but that was in passing. He mistook her meaning and got carried away. He envisioned decades of love and all that goes with it. But the truth soon caught up with his foolish fantasies and she let him know where her heart lay. It shook him- shook him deep, but warm Rhyannon was there to kindly explain it to him and even offer comfort and she may even visit him in real life at his casino (she said she wants to bring him a bottle of his favorite scotch).

He has opportunities for romance and ardor in Second Life and at work with Sasa and Korean Mary and with some friends from his past. Vegas Baby's ex-lover was right- he needs to get on with his life....
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Improve your life!

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Walk/jog

Lose 14 lbs

See a therapist

Bear down on roulette

Call your loved ones weekly

Make $80,000 a yr

Love a beautiful young woman

Drive a red Corvette

Raise beautiful children and grand children!
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I think the dream is dying, folks...

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It looks like dark times are ahead for Vegas Baby. He just completed a weeklong foray in talking to casino shift bosses all over town. What he found is ominous.

Station casinos recently laid off dealers so all the job openings listed on the Net were going to go the returning dealers.

Golden Nugget shift boss said because of the economic downturn she didnt see any openings for the rest of the year.

There was only one part time job opening he discovered and that had tips that were way too low to help him.

Then today the Treasure Island shift boss said the entire MGM/Mirage casino group had an indefinite hiring freeze, ffs! His juice casinos are under that umbrella. This doesn't look good. Not one bit.

There's a possibility of a decent income as a Dealer-Tainer where he would impersonate a celebrity and get to keep his own tips. But that's only IF his casino will lift the black-listing (as they promised to do) that they imposed on his junior casino dealers in time for him to make money before they take Vegas Baby away in shackles.

His romantic interest has told him that he can;t do some of the things he wants to with her until his finances stop listing to starboard (and who can blame her?). And hours later he realizes that the Vegas Baby dream may be dead.

Dark days, folks... dark days.
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If I never saw you again

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If I never saw you again
I'd weep an ocean of tears
I'd wail to raise the dead
I'd mourn forever.



If i never saw you again
I'd never look at a woman the same
I'd wander the wilderness aimlessly
If I never saw u again
The stars would wane dull
The winds would barely be a breeze
The oceans would lie still...


If I never saw you again
I'd know I caressed the face of an angel
I'd see that I was the luckiest man
I'd recall forever the best days of my life with you
If I never saw you again...