Dark days ahead...

Once more doubts about his successful future assails Vegas Baby....

He is awash in cash debt. New car's down payment, insurance and registration has absolutely no room in his weak, spindly budget. He realized he should have seen this coming, but when it comes to details, he rarely has such foresight....

And to complicate matters he made a huge mistake and totally depleted his bank account. He felt the extreme fool with $8 to his name for another 10 days before payday.


Sooo, on his Task List on his smartphone he has a) pick up button extenders and b) get $2500.

And to think, he spent $2000 on his dying Caddy's cooling system just before it overheated and killed the engine.

Oooh, he could use that money now. That was the last of his savings from his 6 years in the credit card industry. But, he does have his angel who is gonna send him $350 which is a big sigh of relief....

Saving The World

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She really doesn't believe that I am saving the world by playing Solitaire and drumming to music. I explained to her how I was beating back the dark forces of defeatism every time I won a game- which she calls Patience in her British manner, they have such silly ways with the English language.

“I began to realize the import of winning at Solitaire, Mary, when I noticed that just before I would win it would appear so bleak. The right card just wouldn't show up and there was the looming threat of the order I was trying to create being bogged down by the forces of chaos.” I said to her over a few pints of ale. That's Anglo for beer, silly Brits.

“Rubbish!” was all she said.

“Yes, dear, I was winning out over the rubbish of the cosmos!” I said, wiping my chin and looking at her hazel, mocking eyes. She has constantly insulted me from the week I fell in love with her. Apparently the Redcoats think that's endearing. I still hadn't forgiven her for calling me an idiot in front of my friends during the Superbowl last year.

I waved my hands in the air. “You see, we are in a constant battle with chaos, the waste of the world clouding our creative expressions. And when I win at Solitaire, when I persevere once again at the task of organizing that small universe and pay no attention to the nagging doubts clawing at the back of my brain, telling me to just give up, it's useless and will get me nowhere- when I overcome all obstacles strewn in my path, I add to the victory and success of the whole planet! Don't you see?”

“Pillock!” Was her brief reply. I looked at her, trying to remember the distinction between pillock and bullocks and bollocks, my mind swimming in more confusion. There were thoughts of idiots, big male steer and testicles rolling around in my head.

“And when I do synchronized percussion to my favorite songs I am also beating back the forces of chaos....” I said, downing the last of my ale.

“Synchronized percussion, bloody hell, you cheeky bugger!”

“What?” I protested.

“Your use of English is a bit overmuch, you pikey.” She said, and then tossed back the last of her ale. “You really mean drumming- synchronized percussion... really!”

“Well, it denotes more of what I wanna say. Drumming is- is so generic!”

“Rubbish! It's the everyday way of speaking. You've been reading too much Macbeth, my literary genius...not!” She said, her hazel eyes once again mocking me. “And don't use denote, pah- ur such a ham.”

I sighed and said, “So, you really don't believe I'm bringing one iota of good into the world?”

“Not by your Patience and banging your fingers on the table top, you silly bugger. You do it by being open and kind and by spouting your values in your silly, playful way.” She said, her soft green eyes staring directly into mine.

“Hmmm,” I said, “Mary of South London... I love you.”

A new car? He thinks he might be out of the woods...

"A Chevrolet HHR... wtf is an HHR?" Vegas Baby thought to himself. "Oh, that's what it is... yuck!"




It ain't no



and it sure ain't no



but beggars can't be choosers and he was very grateful that he was driving instead of walking and taking the gorram bus.... AND it has COLD air conditioning, is zippy enough for a 4 banger, has a decent sound system and it's NEW! That's an odd feeling, a brand new car, maybe he'll make it after all, he thought to himself....

Vegas Baby had consigned himself to the state of carlessness in his heart of hearts. Then a mailer came from Fletcher Jones Chevrolet claiming he could get funded for a car note and to call and submit this secret code and he would be told how much. "Yeah, right," Vegas Baby thought to himself. BUT he did just get approved for a couple teeny credit cards and maybe....

The dealership called him the very next day and after mulling it over for a few days, he thought he might as well go in and see what could happen. He was only on the new job for 3 months and just before that he got turned down four times by other car dealerships on a $12,000 car and had no money for a down payment, so Vegas Baby thought his chances for getting approved for a car were about the same as his chances of finding a good woman- wait- he did find a good woman! Hmmmm....




So, he went in and Fletch himself


asked him, "What about a new car?" after looking at an 05 Nissan Sentra with 26,000 miles on it and he said, "Sure...." And the rest is history.

As Vegas Baby was writing this blog post, Fletch just called him and told him the loan was approved and his payments would be lower than predicted and to come in tomorrow to sign the documents. "Wow," the future millionaire thought to himself, "a good woman, generous friends, healthy kids, a new career, and now, a new car... all this and heaven, too!"

Confessions of Vegas Baby and Can One Really Love One's Job? And Dangerous Thugs

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10 at night and no ride- Dealer Buddy got off an hour before Vegas Baby- so it's a $2 ride on the behemoth bus home.

Vegas Baby raised an old friend on AIM in West Virginia, a college student genius. That helped to pass the boring bus ride time.

His international lover told him the day before that she'll be largely unavailable that day so he didn't try to hard to sms her. He forgot that they frequently posted their daily doings on twitter.com. There is even a way they can send their sms's to each other to avoid international text charges, but he couldn't figure out how to do that.

Vegas Baby remarked to his self about how much he loved the casino industry. He always liked to play 21 and discovered during his pit clerk job that he loved to serve people. Pit clerking was only the 2nd job in 31 years of working that he loved. And he felt the same about dealing.

During his first couple weeks, when he was just learning the huge amounts of little details of pit clerking, he despaired that he would be terminally bored at it. But after mastering the basics he found he loved meeting the needs of the players, dealers, floormen and pit bosses.

His greatest delight was meeting a need discerned by his intuition and observation before anyone asked him to do anything. Sorta like Radar O'Riley on MASH.


He thought for years that his was a sales-oriented personality, since he spent years selling on the phone in different capacities. First as a hardcore telemarketer then as a customer service rep in a credit card call center then as a collections agent for the same bank.

But this pit clerking job taught him that he had a deep need to meet other people's needs. At the same time that he discovered this, geniusbabe, his second fave friend on Second Life, told him after he showed her this line he composed at his pit clerk job one night, "I am your ally, I am your servant. Together we will vanquish every foe," that he may really enjoy exploring the BDSM role of a "sub." to which he replied, "bullshit, I'm too independent for that." her patient explanation of such role-playing made him think twice.

He never took it up, though, realizing that he didn't really fit that mold. There were very few molds he did fit....



On the bus he chatted up 1 of 3 girls he mistook as Italians but were actually from the Czech Republic. She expressed surprise at his age and that he didn't look European at all.

After the girls got off, Vegas Baby made the mistake of cocking his head to the side and glancing back at some noise coming from some punk's music player, loud and distorted which repeated over and over. Two black teens then got up from the back of the bus and sat next to him and the one closest to him started dancing in his seat, singing snatches of rap and staring straight at Vegas Baby. After a couple minutes Vegas Baby looked at the dancing boy and the black kid stared back at him and gyrated, rolling his head back and forth.




Before he could think, Vegas Baby said in a loud voice, "Are you fucking with me?" The negro youth simply stared at him and gyrated.

His cohort spoke up, "Nigger just enjoying his music."

Vegas Baby, knowing his mood would not allow him to stay silent and that there were several more black youths behind them, stood up and walked down the stairs of the doubledecker. While the Negroes said a few more words.

The Deuce turned in to the DTC and he got off, carefully monitoring their movements behind him. He heard one of the Negro teens say, "Are you fucking with me?"

He wished he had a gun once again. And he was relieved they walked to the opposite end of the depot.

He decided not to wait at the depot for the 35 mins before the next 215 E left. He walked the 100 yards to Fremont Street.

On then way he saw a production crew working on a commercial for IHOP.

Once ensconced at the Four Queens he counted his change and bought the football full of beer, 40 ounces for $9, including tip, and stayed in the air conditioned casino free of Negro youths.

Questions in the dark

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As he strode through the streets on a hot, sweaty night seeking his home, Vegas Baby asked himself, "Do future millionaires actually walk the dark streets of ghetto Vegas cuz they're too poor to drive?"

Taking the Strip bus home

Crap! Vegas Baby thought to himself, his ride home fell through. His dealing buddy got called to get home to his baby fast.
He took another pull on his Bud Light as he sat at the bar at O'Sheas, the casino next to his. They had this midget dressed as a leprechaun who got up on the bar blasting this whistle and giving willing gamblers a free shot of some green concoction. He waved the little guy away as he stood over him in bright green shorts and a green bowler.
He didn't like waiting for a bus when it was 100` after dark. Dealer Buddy was a tamed hellion, who's hard drinking and gambling ways were brought to heel by the birth of his baby boy. Vegas Baby had never seen a soul so turned around so deeply. He could tell Dealer Buddy was totally committed to his new family.
He drained the last of his cold beer and left the leprechaun to his act. He had a bus to catch. He swam through the crowded sidewalk and made his way to the Deuce stop in front of the Flamingo. He almost argued with the bored bus driver over the cost of a transfer fare being $5 almost 2 1/2 times the normal fare. Instead he looked the bus driver in the eyes and paid the one way fare.
Dealer Buddy and he formed an instant friendship the first day they met during Orientation. He was half Vegas Baby's age yet there was a strong equanimity between them. He offered him a place to stay at a decent price. He even found a used car for sale. Except it was an old Bronco and if he was gonna pay $1200 ( and where the hell was he gonna fine that money?) on a car he wanted something Asian due to their durability.
Tomorrow was payday and he wanted to delay any money decisions until he saw the dough in his Acct. He often had to do things in simplified and segmented ways to better sort through the dizzying minutiae of detail which easily boggled his ADD brain.
He was driving his international lover to despair with his convoluted ways. She would go back and forth between romantic delight in his poetic ways and utter agony over his idiosyncracies. Weeks before meeting her a dear friend in Second Life once asked why he was lonely, given his looks and what she saw of his character, he was at a loss for words at the time but after witnessing Loverbabe's reactions he was once again reminded of the maddening reasons. One of his favorite ex's, Singerbabe, told him at the end of their love affair, "I love you but I can't live with you."
He leaned against the glass resting his forehead on his arm and looked at the wedding chapels pass by and listening to a tourist telling another about that chapel where Brittany Spears got married for a whole 23 hours. He looked at the cars on the darkened street and thought about how he was gonna have his one splurge once he made over $60,000 a year: a brand new red Corvette. And how he would install a very loud foghorn in it for the idiots on the road as well as a powerful loudspeaker also for the ever-present fool.
Almost the entire bus emptied at the Fremont Street stop. The tourists were on their way to more of the rougher glories of Vegas. He was left alone in the upper deck of the Deuce.






He looked at his watch and thought he might make the bus that goes closest to the Compound without running 6 miles out of the way first. He had 7 minutes.
He looked at all the different people at the DTC at 10 30 PM on a Wednesday night and wondered how many stories they had to tell.


How did the old man get crippled?



What was the drunk Indian's father like?

Life can be humuliating

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Vegas baby wakes up to realize he has no money for the bus.................

He calls a friend for a ride to work and she initially agrees then berates him for his lifestyle and retracts her offer.

He calls his daughter who hasn't the time.

He finally calls one of his sons who is on the way.

Vegas Baby knows one must suffer in this life, especially if one is trying to achieve a big win. Especially if one has bipolar and the deep impulsitivity of ADD.

Sometimes, when it is darkest, he wonders how much he can take.

He turned the car rental in last night. He got a message from the mechanic who charged him $2000 for overheating the past 6 weeks that he was incurring storage charges on the car that died of overheating problems.

He listened to his friend berate him for dropping the intense prayer lifestyle he led for the past couple years. "This is God telling you to get back right with him." Ugh.

He has to call the sods at Enterprise to tell them the car is still on the Stolen Vehicle list. And that it needs to be recovered by the police or the next driver can get stopped at gunpoint with them thinking he's the car thief.

He has good friends and he thanks God for them. But he sure has his dark moments....

Things will get better, he thought to himself, they have to, right?