Feeling the pain, realizing the hope

When last I dealt in a casino I was also without a car for a few months. It was miserable.
I lived on W. Charleston and got off at 4 am. The Strip bus stopped running at 2 am until 5 am. I often got off at 2 and would be so tired and hot with no place to go for hours.
The Sierra Circle casino had no breakroom where I could nap or at least hang out.
This time I hope to have a better go at it. I suppose I have to try to move into the dingy-ass apartments behind the Imperial Princess.

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So, my Friday is over. I've decided to turn in the rental tomorrow after I renew my driver's license- I really couldn't afford to keep it this long.
Now , I'm feeling it, folks....
I'm broke as hell, I got bills up the ying yang that I can't pay for for the first time since beginning this casino venture. Three weeks ago I spent the last of my savings for the car repair- 14 fucking hundred dollars on my lovely Cadillac which I cannot drive or repair. All I can do with that car is pay off the $5400 I owe on it at 29% interest.
Sigh... It sucks to be poor, folks.
I feel deflated. My neck twitch is all up and running strong, makes me look like an idiot, I'm sure.
But I'm not despondent. I'm hurting that's for sure, but I see a very strong light at the end of this tunnel. It's called a posh dealing job. If I can manage to pass probation and learn pai gow poker and strengthen my roulette I know I can win a position at the Golden Nugget or the MGM Grand and that's without my mother's juice. With it... who knows?
So, it's July- 6 months will be January, then I truly have the chance to make over $60,000/yr! And this is no pipe dream, dealers are doing it EVERY DAY here in Vegas. I got 18 months experience and just have to get the rust out of my roulette and 21 game and pick up pai gow- learning craps would help lot but I don't think I can wrap my ADD brain around that game- hell, I can't even play it. But I got all t ingredients to truly be a dealer extraordinaire. And I aim to do it! Like I told my international lover the other day- nothing is going to stop me.
So, I am screwed on a car loan I gotta repay though I can't drive or repair it- so what?
I mean, what would you do for $60,000/yr? Hell, I would shovel chicken shit for that- Man,I would separate the colors for that much! And what do I have to do for that income? Sleep with the casino manager? Kill someone?
All I gotta do is learn my games, be teachable, be proactive, keep my nose clean and sort of play a game with my customers and make them feel good which I LOVE to do and am good at! And that is all for only 40 hrs/ wk. I don't have to work 60 hrs/wk, don't have to take my job home and be on my computer for 3 hrs/night like some corporate weenie....
Sometimes when I think about it, I feel like I'm cheating somehow.
But t thing is, dealers are doing it by the hundreds EVERY DAY in Vegas.
"Psst, hey buddy! Wanna triple your income?"