Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Touching Eternity

How the mystery of God enters my mundane and profane life...

Sometimes when I say the last amen of the Rosary prayer I feel I'm at one with God & the universe. It started in my early days of praying this repetitious prayer when I used a small software application on my home computer that I downloaded for free after a google search. Its amazing the doors that Google unlocks for you...

The application had you hit the amen button as you got to the end of the Rosary and it would take you to the next prayer. When I hit the final amen of the concluding prayer the entire application would disappear, leaving me with my simple PC desktop. The suddenness of that act would transport me to a place where I immediately felt the peace of God and the curious sense of being wonderfully in touch with his presence. I would feel a deep sense of well being and that I was in touch with the entire universe, at one with it, and with its creator.

The feeling often pervades my senses even when I haphazardly pray the Rosary at work in my casino on a dead game where I'd have plenty of time to muddle through what I could remember of the mysteries of that particular day. I'd be standing there at the prayer's conclusion feeling my invisible senses expanding out to the entire universe.

All this sounds grand and wonderfully full of mystery but its always quite subtle and often missed as the profane concerns of my work day would block me from contact with the invisible world. But on occasion, I'd be wrapped in the mystery and sublime beauty of prayer, in touch with my spirit and all of creation.

What this all means in the long run of my stumbling, sinful life I'm not quite sure, but I'm grateful that a little bit of heaven can pervade my earthly life by praying the simple, repetitious Rosary.

Monday, January 26, 2009

I think I have a chance, folks, for a real good job...

My career coach/sponsor, aka my mom, just had lunch with some potential "juice." Telling her about me, an aspiring dealer. That's the most my mom had done to advance my career since I started this Vegas Baby dream.

It is a bit less immediate than I'd prefer in a couple ways. The contact isn't one in a real position of authority, she's a dealer at my fave casino, and the job opening won't appear until at least next December. Sooo, its not like a VP is gonna recommend me for a position, but, another dealer got hired via my mom through this gal merely by listing her as a personal reference on her job application and once the casino at City Center opens up it will be a rather high paying job.

I remember this MGM Grand dealer, with an incredibly extroverted personality, when I was a pit clerk almost two years ago whom I had told of my dealing ambitions, would constantly tell me we would work together at City Center, once it opened up. Well, maybe, that dream will come true. My Vegas Baby ambitions... siiiigh, that would be nice to realize!

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Ok, my FIRST EVER New Year's Resolutions


Folks, I have never made New Year's Resolutions. They always seemed silly to me, knowing how many times they are broken. But also, I think it's a feature of my ADD, meaning the difficulty we have with long or medium range goals- for our brains they are veeery difficult.

But having successfully reached my half marathon goal with months of preparation and lots of hard work over a sustained period of time I now feel confident that I can make and keep them.

Soooo, the other day I tweeted two resolutions. To run at least two half marathons if not a full, and to lose another 17 pounds. My weight goal is designed to bring me to a BMI rating of normal weight by age 50, 18 months from now. I told a friend at work that by age 50 I want the body of a 30 year old....

And, by God, I think I will do it. I originally decided to run a marathon to build my character, to gain control over my body and strengthen my soul and it is working! Woo hoo! I am so excited and deeply moved.

For a man who's neurological makeup makes things like organization and planning nearly impossible without lots of coaching, this half marathon achievement is revolutionary in my life and how I view my abilities. A few years ago I had a rush of insight and blurted out to my mom, as she saw some employment success building in my life (after 25 years of floundering in the work force), that I was a "late bloomer." The recognition of truth made her laugh out loud.

It takes me a while to get some things right, but I have learned, that at times, I am very persistent and things are starting to come together for me I am happy to report.

There's something else cooking in the back of my mind. I just read with misty eyes a Runner's World article about a gal who started a program for homeless men to improve their lives by running a half marathon. Being one who's life is being enhanced by endurance running and one who volunteers a couple times a week for the Las Vegas Catholic Worker which serves the poor and homeless, where I also live and am taking a greater role in its operation lately, this has profound meaning to me. Perhaps I may inspire some homeless men to overcome their demons the same way I overcame some of mine. We'll see...